


The Things We Lost (And Found)

by panicked_bi_kid



Series: Falling Apart (And Then Back Together) [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora and Glimmer break up, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Guess Who's Back, Or not, This is a continuation, also, but still, everyone's kinda a little gay, i don't know what's going on, i'm back with more writing - Freeform, idk - Freeform, it's up to you really - Freeform, okay it's been like less than a week, otherwise you're about to be real confused, seahawk will probably show up at some point, seriously go do that - Freeform, so go read the first part of the series - Freeform, so if you're here for them - Freeform, the other princesses too, you might wanna leave
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-11-06 04:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17932832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panicked_bi_kid/pseuds/panicked_bi_kid
Summary: It's been a year since Catra left, a year since Adora woke up alone on the roof. The war is coming to an end, and everything is about to change.





	1. The End of the Beginning, The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO EVERYONE! I'm back! It's been less than a week but still! I'm back with the first chapter of the second part of this series. If you're new here, welcome, lovely to have you here and please go read the first part of this story unless you want to be confused. And if you want to be confused, well then you do you my friend. Anyway, this picks up a year after the end of the last chapter of "Is The Fight Still Worth It?" 
> 
> All grammar and spelling mistakes are mine, happy reading!

It’s been two years, seven months, three weeks, and six days since Adora woke up alone on the roof of the castle. It’s been one year, two weeks, and three days since the Adora saw Catra. She stares out the window at the sun setting over the forest. Everything is the same. Or as similar as something can be after a year of battle and war. The Horde had finally begun to lose ground, retreating further and further towards the Fright Zone. The last battle was coming. Adora could feel it in her bones, rushing through her veins. A pulsing anticipation of finally achieving something she and the rest of the Rebellion had worked so hard for.

She feels arms wrap around her from behind and a kiss being pressed into her shoulder. Oh. Yeah. That was also something that happened. 

“Morning Glimmer.”

“G’morning.” Glimmer mumbles, her face still pressed into Adora’s back. Adora tries not to giggle at her girlfriend’s antics.

“You should be resting.”

“Bed was cold without you.”

Adora does giggle at that, “Sorry,” and Glimmer detaches herself from Adora’s back, joining her on the windowsill.

“What’s on your mind?”

Adora tries to play it off. “What? Nothing.”

Glimmer gives her a  _ look _ .

“I-I’m not-” She sighs. “How did you know?”

“Your eyes. Whenever you’re thinking about something, you stare out at the forest like your mind is a thousand miles away. And your eyes get just the slightest bit darker.”

“That obvious huh?”

“It was a learning curve.”

There’s a beat of silence as they both watch the sunset. Glimmer slowly laces her hand with Adora’s.

“Something’s coming. Something big. I can sense it.”

“What kind of something?”

“The war is coming to an end Glim.”

Glimmer gives her a quizzical look. “How do you know?”

“We’ve pushed the Horde nearly all the way back to the Fright Zone. They’re pretty much surrounded on all sides and Catra’s gone. Unless they pull out a miracle, this war that’s been going on for longer than we’ve been alive is gonna end. We’ll finally be free.”

“I think that’s the best thing I’ve heard in a really long time.”

The last rays of sunshine fade and the moon rises. The soft light illuminates Glimmer’s face, and all Adora can think about is how she’s never looked more beautiful. Well, who is she kidding. Glimmer always looks beautiful. 

Adora swings her legs over and slides off the windowsill. “Okay c’mon you need to rest. I know that cut on your side still hasn’t fully healed yet.”

Glimmer opens her mouth to protest but decides against it. Arguing against Adora about her health is futile.

“Fine, but only if you cuddle with me.”

“Deal.”

Adora helps Glimmer down from the window sill, casually scooping her up and placing her gently down on the bed, then lying down next to her. They lie in silence, nothing but the sounds from outside and their own breathing between them.

“Do you really the war is gonna end?”

“Yes.”

“And what happens after?”

“I don’t know. But whatever happens, we’ll figure it out.”

Another beat of silence.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	2. Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after (NOT LIKE THAT)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the first part of this series, you'll know that I like to jump back and forth between the present and the past. Is it lazy storytelling? Probably. But do I enjoy it? Yes. So yeah, this is the last chapter before we jump back in time and see what happened in the year-long time jump between when the first part of the series ended and now. Happy reading!
> 
> PS: yes i realize the beginning of this chapter is super cheesy and sappy but then again, so was the last chapter. enjoy it while it lasts (laughs maniacally and then chokes on spit)
> 
> PPS: i did listen to a lot of cheesy love songs while writing this
> 
> PPPS: i know this chapter is short but the next chapter is way longer i promise

Adora wakes slowly, blinking the last remnants of sleep out of her eyes. She moves to get up but a weight on her chest stops her. Glimmer is still asleep, her chest gently rising and falling with every breath. All Adora can think of is how beautiful she looks when she’s sleeping. Her forehead isn’t wrinkled from the stress of leading, her mouth isn’t set in an almost permanent concerned frown, and her eyes aren’t clouded with the pain from losing a battle. 

Of course she’s still beautiful in those moments, but right now, as rays of sunshine come through the window and hit her face just right? She’s ethereal, and all Adora can wonder is how she got so lucky. It’s serene and Adora can’t help but wish for more moments like these. Just pure peace and quiet.

Glimmer slowly stirs awake a little while later, sleepily looking up at Adora.

“Morning.”

“Good morning love.”

Adora moves to get up once again but Glimmer just burrows closer. Adora tries not to giggle and fails miserably.

“We have to get up Glim. We have a meeting with the council remember?”

“Five more minutes.”

Adora is about to concede when the door bangs open, a frantic Bow on the other side, chest heaving as if he’d just ran a marathon.

“Emergency meeting! Council room! Now!”

Adora and Glimmer both immediately shoot up and get dressed, all peace and serenity gone, their senses immediately on high alert. As they race towards the meeting room, a part of Adora wishes they could've just stayed in bed together. But the thought is whisked away by more important thoughts, strategies and ideas already forming. 

 

The council is already gathered by the time they get downstairs. They hastily take their seats as Queen Angella stands to address them all. Her words echo through the hall.

“The Horde forces are beginning to gather just inside the Fright Zone. They're mounting one last stand. I received a message from Hordak last night. We have two days before they march on Bright Moon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, as always, leave a kudos or a comment, I crave validation. Next chapter is already written and will be up very soon. So like probably tomorrow.


	3. Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Adora and Glimmer got together. Amongst other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of a series of flashbacks, I'll probably put super tiny present day chapters in between each of them, I haven't decided yet. Anyway, Glimmerdora shippers, you're welcome. 
> 
> Happy reading!

_ Two years ago, 7 months after Catra left. _

“Hey, have you seen Bow?” Adora glances around the training area, scanning for signs of her friend as Glimmer walks in.

“No, I haven’t seen him since dinner last night.”

Adora turns back to face Glimmer and her breath catches. The sun catches on her hair just right and she looks like she’s glowing. She saying something, but Adora can’t hear.

“Adora, Adora, Adora.” Glimmer’s voice snaps her out of her haze.

“Hm? What?”

“I said, do you think Bow’s been acting weird lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since… y’know…” _Catra leaving._ “He’s been…”

Adora thinks about the last two months. How Bow spent more and more time in the forest. How he would spend hours training, sending arrow after arrow into the bullseye of ever target.

“Different…”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he’s okay?” Adora wants to smack herself for not realizing sooner.

“I think so? I just can’t figure out why.”

Realization dawns on Adora. “Let me talk to him.”

“You know what’s up with him?”

“I think so.” Glimmer gives her a “go on” look. Adora ignores it.

“Do you know where he could be?”

“Check the roof. He’s been going up there a lot lately.”

Once again, Adora wants to smack herself for not noticing what was going on with her friend. But she doesn’t have time to dwell on it now.

“Thanks Glim!” She races off towards the castle, leaving being a very confused Glimmer standing alone.

~~~~

Just as Glimmer said, Bow is on the roof. The same roof that Adora and Catra fell asleep on all those nights ago. The same roof where Adora woke up alone. She’s not quite sure how she’s never seen Bow up here before. She also comes here a lot, after the castle’s gone quiet and everyone’s gone to sleep. She’s woken up alone on this roof far more than she cares to count.

He’s sitting on the ledge, his legs presumably dangling over the edge. If he hears her open the door, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“Hey Bow.”

“Hey.”

She sits down next to him. “What are you doing up here?”

“Thinking.”

“Seems like you’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Glimmer’s worried.”

He lets out a chuckle. “Just Glimmer?”

Adora smiles at that. “Okay, maybe I’ve been worried too.”

They stare out at the forest in silence.

“I’m worried about her.” He whispers.

“What?”

“Catra. I’m worried about her.”

Adora tried not to think about Catra. How she fell completely off the map. How she could be hurt or dead and no one would know.

“Me too.” Another beat of silence. “Is this why you’ve been so distant lately?”

“Yeah. I just- I didn’t think she’d just leave like that. With no warning.”

She sighs. “Did you actually think she’d stay?”

He looks her dead in the eye, a sharp curiosity burning in his eyes. “Did you?”

She was hoping he wouldn’t ask her this. Not because he would be disappointed by her answer, but because she doesn’t have one. “I hoped she would.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“I know. Did you think she’d stay?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

He sighs heavily. “For you.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“And why is that?”

“I didn’t stay for her. And I know she loves me. Enough to let go. Because right now, we do nothing but bring each other pain.”

“When did you come to that conclusion?”

“When I realized that we’ve spent our entire lives against each other, either competing at the Horde or fighting in this war. We don’t know how to coexist without hurting the other. Why did you want her to stay?”

“I was hoping she would be like you. That she could tell us everything about the Horde. That she would realize that what we’re going is good.” She can hear the anger in his voice.

“She does know that. And I’m sure she wanted to stay. But for the first time in her life, she’s putting herself first. Doesn’t she deserve that?”

He’s silent. They stare out at the forest for a while. She can almost hear the gears turning in his mind.

“I think there’s another reason she left.” He says, breaking the silence.

“And what is that?”

“Glimmer.”

“What?”

“She likes you, and I think you like her back.”

Adora flushes immediately. “What? No- I- what? No I don’t!”

He gives her a skeptical look. She sighs. “Okay, maybe I do. But what does that have to to with Catra leaving? I don’t have feelings for her anymore.”

“But would you have acted on your feelings for Glimmer while Catra was here?”

Her silence betrays her answer. They sit in silence for another moment.

He turns and smiles at her. “Thank you, Adora.”

“For what?”

“For everything you’ve told me today. I think I needed to hear it.”

She smiles back. “Thank you to you too. I think you said a lot that I needed to hear too.”

“So what are you waiting for? Go get your girl.”

She quickly hugs him and races down the stair. There’s a conversation she needs to have.

~~~~

She bumps into Angella in the hallway, muttering an apology, and is about to go rushing off but a hand on her arm stops her. There’s a look in the queen’s eyes that Adora’s never seen before.

“Don’t hurt her.”

A million questions race through Adora’s mind, the main one being “HOW???”, but she manages to nod, and Angella lets her go. Angella watches her sprint down the hallway. About time, she thinks to herself.

 

Glimmer is uncharacteristically quiet as Adora enters the room, staring out the window. They’ve all been doing a lot of that lately.

“Hey Glim.”

No answer. Yep, that’s to be expected. She sits down next to her, a noticeable gap between them.

“Sorry for running out on you earlier. And for not telling you what was up with Bow. He was on the roof by the way.”

Still silence.

“I ran into your mom on my way here. She-”

“Why didn’t you tell me.”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me what was wrong with Bow?”

Adora sighs and looks down. “I didn’t want to make you mad.”

“What could possibly be with up with him that would make me mad?”

“He’s worried about Catra. And so am I.”

Glimmer is silent, and Adora can see the turmoil that her words inflict on her mind.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to lie to you but I also knew that you don’t exactly have the best relationship with Catra, given everything that happened and I just-” Words are spilling out of Adora’s mouth and she can’t make them stop. “I just didn’t want anything to come between us.”

“Why would Catra come between us?” Her voice is shaky, pretending they both don’t know the exact reason Catra could come between them.

Part of Adora wants to blurt why. Because she knows. She knows. She knows. But Bow’s voice in her head from their _“Romance 101”_ lessons stops her. “Don’t tell her that you know that she has feelings for you.”

She takes a deep breath and looks Glimmer in the eyes.“Catra, she is my past. You are my present.” She takes Glimmer’s hand. “And, if you’ll have me, hopefully, you are my future.”

Glimmer’s smile is blinding. “Yes.” She leans in close. “Can I kiss you?”

“Always.”

Their lips meet softly, tentatively at first. And one of them, neither of them could tell you which, deepens it. And their lips meet again and again and it’s everything they could’ve dreamed of. It’s the sun over the horizon, fireworks exploding in the distance, it’s liquid fire, it’s gold flowing in between the cracks of a broken vase. It tastes like something new.


	4. Past Pt. 2 (Another sunset)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight months since Catra left. Battles are fought, words are said, something is broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO, I AM BACK, SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE. Writer's block hit me like a brick for like four days and life was very hectic so I didn't have time to write, nor did I have any ideas to write. Also, this is a flashback chapter and the next few chapters will all be flashback chapters, making their way back to the present time set in chapter two.
> 
> ALSO, IMPORTANT INFORMATION: I changed the time-jump so it's been over two years since Catra left. Previous chapters have been changed accordingly.
> 
> Happy reading!

_ One year and two months ago, 1 year, five months since Catra left _

“BOW WATCH OUT!” The world seems to slow as Adora sprints towards an unsuspecting Bow. She tackles him out of the way just as an energy blasts hit the ground where he was standing.

“Thanks.”

“No prob-” She’s jolted to the side, another energy blast landing alarmingly close to them.

“I guess now we’re even.” She stands up and extends a hand to him.

“I guess so.” He nocks another arrow and her sword is drawn, both of them looking around. The battle rages around them, the enhanced Horde tech actually being a struggle for the Rebellion forces to hold back.

“I guess Entrapta’s upgrades are finally having an effect.” Bow lets the arrow fly, hitting a small crevice in the joints. Adora leaps up and stabs her sword hilt-deep into the engine.  

“Yeah, you could say that.”

The battle continues to rage around them, screams coming from both sides, Perfuma’s vines snaking their way across the forest floor. Adora briefly wonders if the splash of red on her is blood or something else. The thought is lost as she dodges two blasts and sends her own back, blowing up two tanks at once. She tries not to think about the bodies that go flying. This is war, she reminds herself. There will be casualties.

Punch

Kick

Slash

Stab

Slash

Slash

Kick

Punch

She gets lost in the battle, her movements a violently beautiful dance. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Glimmer taking on two Horde tanks at once. She doesn’t see the squadron of soldiers behind her.

Adora’s sprinting towards Glimmer before she can even think of a plan, her body acting on feeling and rage.

There’s a pile of scrap metal and bodies around them a moment later. The retreat horn goes up and Glimmer turns to Adora, eyes blazing with fury.

“I had them!”

“What?”

“You didn’t have to save me, I had it under control.”

Wait, Glimmer is mad at her? What?

“Wait, you’re mad at me?” Adora asks, confused.

Glimmer glares at her. “I had the situation under control. You didn’t need to swoop in a play the hero.”

“I wasn’t trying to.” Adora’s still confused. “I just saw you were in danger and I went on instinct.”

“You abandoned your own battle to save me!”

“And I would do it again in a heartbeat!”

“What if someone got hurt because you just stopped mid-fight to come save me?”

“Then I-” Adora stops dead.

“What if it was Bow you were abandoning to save me?”

Adora’s never heard this kind of harshness in Glimmer’s voice before. At least, not since they’d met. She lets her armor fade.

“That wouldn’t happen!”

“You don’t know that!”

They stare at each other for a long time, the sounds of the forest and Horde forces retreating echoing in the distance. The air between them has changed. And then in an instant, Glimmer is gone.

Bow comes up behind her. “What was that all about?”

Adora stares at the empty space where Glimmer used to be.

“I have no idea.”

~~~~

They don’t talk for three days straight after that. Not for a lack of trying on Adora’s part, but Glimmer seems to be avoiding her like the plague. Every time Adora tries to talk to her, she either makes a lame excuse or she just straight up teleports away. She spends an eerily large amount of time training, and Adora figured trying to disturb Glimmer there was a really bad idea. Not even Bow could get through to her.

On the fourth day of silence, and being avoided for what feels like the 100th time, Adora turns to the one person she hasn’t consulted yet. Queen Angella.

The queen isn’t in the meeting room, a rarity these days. Adora finds her on the balcony outside, looking over the village below.

“Your Majesty.”

The queen turns to look at her. “Please, drop the formalities. We’re not in battle and you’re dating my daughter. Just Angella is fine. What do you need?”

Adora joins her on the balcony. “It’s about Glimmer.”

“You want to know why she’s avoiding you.”

“Yeah… How did you…?” Adora isn’t sure why she’s questioning this. Queen Angella has an odd talent of knowing everything that’s happening around the castle.

“Please, one of the guards has caught the two of you making out in some corner at least three times a week for the last two months. Also, it’s quieter without your laughter ringing through the hallways. You made each other happy.”

Adora looks down at the village, trying not to let the tears fall. “She makes me feel things that I never thought I could feel. And all I want is for her to be happy.”

“But you want her to be happy with you.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you considered her position?”

“What?”

“From what she’s told me, you were in the middle of taking down Horde forces and you abandoned your fight in order help her when she didn’t need help.”

“I just saw her in danger and I reacted on instinct.”

“I assumed as much. And I admire your willingness to protect my daughter. But what you did was also dangerous.” Adora opens her mouth to protest but Angella holds up a hand. “Allow me to finish. You stopped mid-fight in order to help Glimmer. And while it worked out this time, it might not next time. Those soldiers you left behind could’ve done irreparable damage.”

“I-I guess I didn’t think of it like that...” Adora’s mind is racing. Guilt, confusion, sadness, all rolled together. “So what am I supposed to do?”

“You’ll have to talk to Glimmer about that.”

“She’s made it very clear she doesn’t want to see me.”

“Give her a chance.” She gives Adora a knowing look. “I think she’ll surprise you.”

Adora has more questions, but she’s not so oblivious that she doesn’t recognize the end of a conversation. She thanks Queen Angella before seeking out Glimmer.

She tries the training fields first, which are empty. A rarity these days. The armory, dining room, and library are all Glimmer free. She finally makes her way upstairs and hesitantly knocks on Glimmer’s door.

“Bow, if you’re here to try and make me feel better again, I wasn’t kidding when I said I would hide your arrows.” Glimmer’s voice is muffled through the door but Adora still thinks it’s one of the most beautiful sounds she’s ever heard.

“It’s me, Glim.”

A beat of silence. Adora can almost see the conflicted look on Glimmer’s face as she debates whether or not to let Adora in. The doorknob twists and the door opens slowly.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Glimmer steps aside and lets Adora in. They sit down on the balcony, and it almost feels normal.

“Thanks. For letting me in.”

Glimmer stares out at the forest. “I mean, it’s been four days so…”

Adora doesn’t miss the tension in her voice. “Why, Glimmer?”

“What?”

“Why did you avoid me for four days?”

The silence is nearly unbearable as she waits for Glimmer’s answer.

Her voice is nearly a whisper. “Because seeing you would make it real.”

“What are you talking about.”

“I don’t think we should be together. At least, not if we’re going to be going on the same missions, fighting the same battles.”

Both of them knew the latter was impossible, relationship be damned.

“Glimmer, you can’t just end this relationship because of one battle!”

“But what if it happens again?”

“It won’t!”

“You don’t know that!”

“Then trust me! Trust me when I say it won’t happen again!”

Adora can see the tears forming in Glimmer’s eyes as she shakes her head.

“I trust you, Adora. More than anyone.” She sniffles, wiping away her tears. Her voice hardens. “But I can’t risk it.”

They’re both crying now. The sun is just beginning to set, the fading sun casting an orange glow across Glimmer’s face. Adora can’t help but marvel through her tears at the beauty in front of her. How lucky she was.

“I’m always going to protect you Glim. Even if we aren’t together.”

“I know that. But us being together, that’s just making your protective streak stronger. And that’s not what we need right now. This is war. And we have to make sacrifices.”

Adora looks closely at Glimmer’s face. It looks older, more battle worn. She wonders how she’s never noticed before.

“What happened Glimmer? And don’t tell me it’s just the Horde because you’ve been fighting them for far longer than I’ve known you.”

“I guess I realized how much I could lose if I stayed with you. And I’m not ready to lose that much yet.”

There’s a gravity, a sense of wisdom in her voice that Adora’s never noticed before. She wants to be angry, to scream, to fight for whatever they had. But deep down, she knows that Glimmer is right. They’ve been fighting this war together for over three years now, and they’re tired. Tired of fighting, tired of having to bury good soldiers, tired of bracing themselves for whatever the Horde throws at them. 

"But being with you makes me forget about everything. The Horde, the war, everything. Don't we deserve to be happy, even if it's just for a little bit?"

"Do you think I don't want that? Of course, I want that, more than anything! But I have to be willing to sacrifice this if it will save lives."

"And what if I don't want to lose this? What if I think this is worth fighting for?" Adora knows she's fighting a losing battle. That's never stopped her before.

"I'd say you were right. But I'd also say that this isn't the fight you should be focused on."

"I love you Glim. Isn't that enough?"

"I love you too Adora. More than you know. But I can't be selfish like this anymore."

The sun is nearly completely set now. Adora stands and makes her way to the door.

"I'm not giving up on us."

"I know."

Adora closes the door. She manages to make it back to her room before breaking down. She glances up at the moon, which is just starting to peek over the treeline. She knows Glimmer is looking up at the same moon, tears also streaming down her face.  

And in the morning, she shoves all her feelings to the back of her mind. They are after all, at war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, no guarantees on when the next chapter will be up, I'm so sorry but school is rearing its ugly head and I'm gonna be in Colorado for the weekend so no time to write. So yeah, hopefully by next week but who knows? Not me.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or a comment, this author craves validation


	5. Something Changes (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The voices in Adora's head are back... Or were they never really gone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally address a plot point I created back in the first part of this story, maybe go re-read that if you don't remember.  
> Anyway, sorry this update is coming this late, I've been super busy this past week between school and having to go to Colorado for the weekend, this fic kind of took the backseat, but I'm gonna try to be better about consistent uploads. Don't hold your breath though.
> 
> Happy reading!

_Nine months ago, one year, ten months since Catra left_

The battle with the latest wave of Horde forces is raging fifty feet below where Adora is currently standing. Where Adora should be. She should be down there with the Rebellion, fighting for their freedom, for their lives. But she can’t get her feet to move.

_Let go_

The voice is back. The one she fought with while Catra was still a part of the Horde. Not quite Lighthope, but not Shadow-Weaver either. It echoes strangely in her mind like there are hundreds of voices speaking at once.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” She’s not sure if she’s yelling out loud or in her mind. She’s not sure if she cares at this point.

_Let Go_

There’s a blast from below her and the ground shakes. Still, her feet won’t move.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”

_LET GO_

Adora screams and slams her sword into the ground, eyes clenched shut. When they open- 

* * *

 Afterward, people will tell her that she descended from above like an angel of death, destroying everything in her path. That her eyes glowed a bright white and her sword moved like it was an extension of her body, a deadly arc cutting through everything in its path.

But in the moment, Adora doesn’t know what’s happening. She blacked out, or at least that’s what it felt like. She wakes up after the Horde retreats, her armor faded and her glowing eyes back to their regular blue.

“What just happened?” She picks up her sword. It’s warm, pulsing brightly, humming with excitement.

She looks up. Bow, Glimmer, Perfuma, Spinerella, and Netossa are all staring at her, jaws hanging open.

“Uh, guys? Care to enlighten me on what I missed? Because the last thing I remember, I was standing up there.” She points to the cliff above them. They all just continue to stare.

“Okay, we’ll talk back at the castle then.”

* * *

“So you’re saying a weird voice in your head told you to let go and then you don’t remember anything that happened after that?”

“Pretty much.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah. Weird. Now can someone please tell me what happened?”

They all look at each other before Glimmer finally speaks up. “We were all fighting, and losing pretty badly, when all of a sudden there’s this bright light and then you come soaring down from the cliff in all your She-Ra glory. Your eyes were glowing bright white. Why didn’t you tell us you could do that?”

“I didn’t know I could do that. It’s like someone else overtook my body and I was just along for the ride.”

Silence falls across the room again.

“I think I know what’s going on.” Queen Angella’s voice echoes across the lounge. They all turn to stare at her. “Adora, come with me.”

Adora stands and moves to follow the queen.

“And bring your sword.”

Angella leads her to the library, and Adora’s mind is racing with questions, not even close to knowing where to start. The queen keeps walking, leading her to a small records room that looks older than everything else.

“Um, what is this place?”

“Call it an archive of sorts. Everything we’ve ever been able to find about the First Ones is here. You may be able to find out more about She-Ra here.”

Adora looks around in wonder, flipping through the various texts.

“How long has this been here for?”

“Since the castle was built I believe. An ancient scholar began collecting texts, and ever since then, every time someone found any information about the First Ones, they would bring it here.”

“But I thought no one could read the language?”

“There’s a lot of pictures mixed in as well and we’ve been able to study those. But I guess some scholars always hoped someone would come along and be able to read the texts. And when you showed up, I kept waiting for the right time to show you this place.”

“Who else knows about it?”

“Only a few trusted scholars, a few top-ranking guards, and myself.”

“Glimmer doesn’t know about this place?”

“No. And it’s best you don’t tell her.”

“I thought the two weren't going to keep secrets from each other.”

“The fewer people that know about this the better. And this isn’t something she needs to know about.”

Adora frowns. The idea of lying to Glimmer doesn’t sit well with her. Even if they aren't together anymore.

“So can I come here whenever I want?”

“Yes. I’ll have a guard set up an alert system in case of emergencies. For now, feel free to explore and read.”

Adora nods, vaguely listening, her eyes raking over the stacks of books and papers. Maybe one of them holds the answer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Next chapter will be up at some point in the future. How many days in the future is still a question, but hopefully no later than next week.


	6. (not so) Imaginary Former Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora learns about her blackouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been almost two weeks since I last uploaded a chapter and I have nothing to say for myself. Anyway, here's an update. Adora finally learns the truth behind her blackouts. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

_ Five months ago: Two years, two months after Catra left _

Adora’s not sure how long she’s been sitting on the floor of the small archive room but however long it’s been, it’s been too long. She can’t feel her legs anymore and her butt is completely numb. Still, she turns her attention back to the book. It’s been months, but all the books she’s read, all the scriptures, all the notes, all the papers; None of them have been able to tell her why she blacked out during that battle. 

In the meantime, the blackouts haven’t stopped. They’ve gotten worse. Well, if you could really describe them that way. Adora has yet to hear an accurate recount of what happened or see the footage, but she always leaps into a fight and wakes up surrounded by pure and utter destruction. And with each battle, the destruction around her is worse. She swears one time Frosta was hurt by something she did while she was blacked out but Frosta adamantly denies it. Adora isn’t sure though, the scar now on Frosta’s arm perfectly matches a slice from Adora’s sword. 

She puts the book down, rubbing her eyes. Her sword is pulsing softly next to her. She looks down at it.

“I don’t suppose you could tell me why I keep blacking out.”

Her sword continues to pulse softly.

“Gee thanks. So helpful.”

She lets out a deep breath and rubs her eyes. She’s exhausted, the last few days taking their toll on her. She leans back and closes her eyes. A few minutes of sleep couldn’t hurt.

_ “Adora.” _

_ “Adora.” _

_ “Adora.” _

She wakes up in the middle of an open field. A woman stands in front of her, a woman she doesn’t recognize. 

“Um… Who are you?”

The woman smiles gently down at her and offers her a hand. Adora takes it and stands.

“I think you know who I am.”

The woman closes her eyes and the air around her shimmers. The She-Ra visage flashes around her for a moment and Adora gasps.

“You’re Mara.”

The woman opens her eyes again.

“Yes.”

“Where am I? Why am I here? And how am I talking to you?”

“You’re inside your runestone. Well, your mind is. Your body is still asleep in the library. And as for why you’re here, well, you’re here because you need my help.”

“I don’t even know anything about you. And I still have no idea how I’m even here.”

“We’re connected, Adora. Even though I no longer carry the She-Ra mantle, a piece of me still resides inside the sword. As does a piece of ever She-Ra before me. There’s a piece of you inside here as well.”

Adora is silent, her mind racing, trying to process all this new information.

“So you’re saying that my mind is inside my sword, talking to your consciousness, even though you’ve been dead for a thousand years.”

“Yes. And you can talk to every She-Ra before me as well.”

Adora just stares at Mara.

“I’m dreaming. I mean I have to be right? This is insane, I can’t- this is- this is impossible.” Her mind is racing to fast and she isn’t quite sure what’s real anymore and she can feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

“Adora.” Mara’s voice snaps her out of it. “Calm down, we don’t have much time. You wanted to know why you’re blacking out during battle? It’s because we take over.”

“Who’s we?”

Dozens of women appear behind Mara, the visage of She-Ra appearing behind all of them.

“All of the women who have worn the She-Ra mantle in the past. When we deem it necessary, we can take control. Fight your battles.”

Adora can feel the anger smoldering in her chest. “And how come I don’t have a choice in this matter?”

Surprise crosses Mara’s face. “All we’re trying to do is help.”

“Is it really helping if my friends get hurt too?” Adora’s anger is simmering now, the field surrounding them beginning to glow orange, the ground shaking.

“Adora, please, calm down!”

“No! I have been terrified for months over this! Over something that I knew nothing about and apparently can’t control!”

“And what do you think will happen when you lose control of your emotions?” A voice pipes up from the back.

“Shut it, Ari!” Mara shoots back, focusing her attention on Adora, who is still freaking out. “Adora, please.”

“You’ve been taking control of my body without telling me for months! How is that not a huge violation of privacy?”

“It is,” Mara states simply. “We know that. All of us do.”

“Then you should all know how terrifying it is to black out and wake up seemingly hours later, drenched in blood, with destruction all around you.”

“Adora-”

“No, I’m outta here.” The world around them begins to shake harder, pieces of the ground beginning to fall away. “Stop poking around in my mind.”

Mara opens her mouth to say something but Adora just stares straight ahead, focusing on shattering the world around them. The world stops shaking for a moment, and Adora closes her eyes. 

When she opens them, she’s back in the secret room in the library. Her sword pulsing softly next to her. She tries to ignore the voice in her head telling her to go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say I won't wait so long between uploads again but honestly, I have no idea. Life is kinda kicking my ass right now and I'm just trying not to fail my classes. So yeah, who knows when the next chapter will be up.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading, please leave a comment or a kudos, this author craves validation. Next chapter is already in the works and will be up soon.


End file.
